Ever since my depression has really spiked up, I've been doing everything I could think of including going to therapy, contacting crisis lines, and starting up on an antidepressant a few days ago. I've also been trying to find ways to distract myself including writing, video games, and movies. I finally got a relief last Wednesday and have had better days Wednesday-Friday, but since then I've really been hurting worse than I did before then. I can't really seem to focus on anything and there hasn't been a day where I haven't thought of death this whole month. I feel so alone and trapped, and I know I could ultimately get through this, but I don't really think I want to.