I'm going to try to take a bite. I'm a bit hyped on caffeine, so can't focus enough to read the other replies. But maybe my own experience will help you feel a bit more at ease.

First of all, I wouldn't stress too much about the notes. In normal terms, insecure and immature may be seen as insults. However, in psychology/psychiatry, not so much. They're used a bit differently. It's kind of hard to explain, and I don't feel like trying to because of my caffeine hype. But don't think too much of it.

Now, to the topic at hand. I honestly would have preferred to be diagnosed with a social phobia. Personality disorders are a bit tougher to treat. They are part of your personality (hence 'personality' disorder). I don't think I was supposed to see my diagnosis. Not yet anyway. (Different therapy probably) But I did. My eyes wander and they wandered to his notes and I saw on the axis where personality disorders are written Avoidant personality disorder. Ouch. That hurt. I'll try to explain why.

It was easier for me to accept that I might be bipolar II or cyclothymic (I doubt the latter as I have had major depressive episodes, as described by my previous psychiatrist). I kind of suspected, for a long time, that I might have been bipolar. I tried to act as though it was hard for me to accept, but only because it distracted me from AvPD. I still suspect there's something underlying. I wasn't always so... well, 'avoidant'. It has gotten progressively worse in the past year. But I have always been socially awkward (as defined by my friends and family, not myself). My psychiatrist and I agree that being told I'm awkward so often likely led to my avoidance of others. We've talked about that. But of course, if I have a personality disorder, I was always avoidant. I suspect.

With a personality disorder, I felt like... I'd be like this forever. I felt unhelpable (I realize that's not a word, but it's the only thing I can think of to explain it). I felt like no matter how much therapy I sat through, things would never change. I denied that I was avoidant for the first several months. Recently, I joined a support group and the pieces all started to fall into place. And I realized how much I could relate to those people. The finding hobbies inside. The isolation. The overeating or under eating to deal with emotions. The making excuses to avoid going to social gatherings last minute. And I realized I was avoidant, that it wasn't just a social phobia. And for several days after I realized that, I was depressed. Because I remember thinking I'm going to be like this forever. This is going to be my life.

I am slowly accepting it, though. I think there is hope. I know that I will never be 100% comfortable around people, and maybe that's okay? I don't know. But I know that with the right therapy, I may become comfortable enough to meet people, at the very least. My point in all this is that it's hard for many of us to accept our diagnosis. I spent years wondering, wanting to know. And now I do know, and it was scary. Because I had to step out of what I 'thought' and into what I 'know'.