I am so sorry that you feel the way you do. I can honestly say that I know how you feel because I don't like me either. I have never liked me. I still don't like me. I have a 7-yr-old boy that I'm scared to death is going to grow up and not like me either, but how can he (or anyone else) ever like me when I don't feel like I'm a likeable (sp) person?

I am sorry that I don't have an upbeat answer for you. I have seen more therapists than I can count so I don't want to go back to therapy either. I think that I might give it one more shot though. It has been recommended to me that I go to one of the local universities as they charge on a sliding scale. Something I might be able to afford as I'm no longer working.

One of the things that has helped me not feel so bad about myself is communicating to people here at PC. I also IM a lady that I befriended when I was on a diet. (It was a diet that has online support and chat / forum boards.) We IM each other every day!! I also have befriended a young lady at LiveJournal.com. It also helps for me to have a journal at LJ. As I write down my feelings, I can take a more objective look at them. It also helps when my friends read my journals and made remards about what I've written.

Are you seeing a doctor for depression or anything? Are you on any type of medication? I am on several different mood stabilizers and an anti-depressant, both of which have helped me a great deal. I can now at least tolerate myself during that day. I still don't like myself.

I've only done it twice, but I have been in this chat room and have received warm welcomes both times. It's really hard for me to open up and make friends. That's why I only have about 4 friends. And 2 of those I've never met in person before!! You may find it easier to open up to people in the chat room. Why don't you give it a try?

Please keep me posted. PM me anytime. I may not have the perfect answer, but I am a good listener.

{{{{HUGS}}}}