It's so awful because I am back on campus now and I know he's around and I'm scared of running into him (part of me wants to run into him) and I feel like I'm falling apart. It was easier when I was with my parents and far away from where everything happened but I don't feel safe now. I know that I sound whiny because my life could be a lot worse. I wish these things didn't make me feel so non-functional. I feel like I'm paralyzed.