I see these all the time. Books, magazines, websites where people brag about how little they eat.

Actually, they aren't really bragging because they're too perfect to brag. They just talk about how little they eat like it's the most normal thing in the world. That it's people who eat more than them that are the problem.

And these aren't pro-Ana sites. These are normal sites for everyone.

I can't stand it, that this is what everyone thinks. That I have to learn to eat less or I'll never be as good as they are. That if I don't learn to eat less, I'm considered a problem. If I want to be liked and included in their perfect world, I have to stop being so indulgent. Why is this so hard for me?

I hate it. I hate their constant screaming and scolding and criticizing and telling me that I'm a failure. I hate them for making it so hard for me to earn the right to be happy. I hate myself for being so weak-willed and depraved. There is nothing in my soul except poisonous envy because I made the choice to have such rotten poisonous character, and I shouldn't feel this way. I should feel good and confident and kind, and I don't. I want to hate everyone else because I'm such a failure, because I can't be part of their world.

I'm sorry. I know it's my fault. If I could just give up my selfish indulgences I could be happy, but I'm not giving them up, so I'm getting exactly what I deserve: failure and exclusion.