Hugs hugs hugs. I can't even imagine what you are feeling. All I can offer is virtual hugs, and a wish for you to find some peace. Focusing on the past - what you did or didn't see, what you might've done will not help you in the long run though. Wondering what if and beating yourself up will drive you to madness - avoid that road if possible by being mindful of where you are now - be in the moment for yourself and the mutual friends you share.

Like I said lots of hugs and prayers for peace.

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