I can't take all this **** anymore. I don't know why anyone has to have so many things stacked against them. Bipolar, generalized anxiety disorder, spinal cord injuries to where they want to put 6 screws in my spine, need bilateral knee replacements, fibromyalgia, occiptital neuraliga, chronic regional pain syndrome, nerve damage, degenerative disc disease, spinal stenosis, left hip replacement ok I suppose that is enough about me. I am single mom of two kids that have special needs. My 6 year old daughter has been diagnosed with ADHD, generalized anxiety disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and a learning disability and she is an excellent sports player which is her saying grace. Everything else seems to hold her back and hurt her self esteem but when she is playing sports she shines. Her first season playing soccer her team won the U8 championships and she got a big ole trophy. Next she played lacrosse and did quite well followed by basketball which she makes more shots then she misses and she got a trophy for that too which was another much needed self esteem booster. Fiinally we have my handsome 4 year old son who is super smart and can memorize anything he puts his mind to and has already started learning sight words and can reads short 3 word sentences and has even started memorizing addition math facts and so far he has been diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety disorder,sleep disturbance and disorders of the central nervous system NOS. That last diagnosis is subject to change pending the end of his evaluation at kennedy krieger. He has multiple symptoms that fall into bipolar disorder and high functioning autism and because he doesn't fall definitively into one of the catergories they are doing a lot of testing and have referred him to neuropsychology department for psychological and IQ testing and he saw special pathologist who did speech and language testing and also did ADOS testing and we are currently waiting for the sleep study and this test date for psychology and IQ testing into until september unless someone cancels because I am on the cancellation list.
I need to have at least 4 surgeries currently but being a single mom whose children have these special gifts, I don't really have anyone to take care of them while I have these surgeries so I have just been putting them off but apparently I am nearly the end of the putting it off and dealing with it later point. I already walk with a cane most of the time which definitely isn't nearly as bad when I had to use the walker. I have some many appointment for the kids and have to run them back and forth to all their appointments I don't really have time for myself. Of course I go to the monthly mediation management appointment so I can walk and get around and do everything I need to do for my kids and my psychiatrist appointment but I am not exactly medication compliant all of the time. I had been doing a lot better until my medicine became manufacture back order and I didn't really have much of a choice but I have it back and am starting back from the beginning again. I can honestly say if it wasn't for my kids there is no way on this earth I would be living this way in all this pain if it wasn't for them. They are my sole reason for breathing and I love them more than I ever thought possible but sometimes I feel like I am drowning and eventually am going to just slip under.