I think that the most helpful thing is that no matter what he accepts me. Whether he really does or just pretends to I don't know. But I feel safe and accepted there. I have never felt safe and accepted anywhere. I still am waiting for him to tell me I need to find someone else - that he can't deal with me and my crap, but so far he hasn't. He is always so kind. I used to be really scared of the kindness but it is getting less scary.