I have had to learn first via parental expectations. My sister was/is the sick one and I am the child that no one has to worry about. Now as a military spouse I have had to toe the line. During my husband's last deployment we were told never to distract them from the mission, that if they had to worry about us then they would be distracted and that could put them in harms way. It was a very hard year for me. Later my husband took command and I was expected to take on leadership roles. Motivate spouses, plan events, listen to the cocerns of other spouses and try to present their concerns to the command teams. Most of all I had to make them feel cared for. All the while I was dying inside.

Makeup helps a lot, for a long time I never left the house without it. I would take a deep breath before entering a room and check to make sure my smile reached my eyes. My standard line was: What can I do for you?

I no longer do that, I gave up that position because, it was bad for my mental and physical health, I actually ended up in the hospital and required emergency surgery. Now I have safe zones, my house, a few close friends that also have struggled with mental illness. I still fake it when I need to: official military functions where my abscence would be noticeable and could make my husband look bad.

I am not an advocate of faking it, in my experience you always have to pay for it later, one way or another.