A few months ago I came across a term in a therapy book called The Golden Fantasy. In the context of this book it meant that some women feel like when they meet a man to sweep her off her feet she will learn to love herself and everything will end happily ever after. Think Cinderella. A few months before I read about this idea I stopped dating completely because I started to realize I was waiting for my Golden Fantasy and I had the nagging feeling that I needed to love myself before I could be loved, though at the time I didn't know it had a name. That's around the time I began therapy.

The other day I came across this term again (can't remember where), this time in reference to therapy. Much in the same way a woman might believe a man could fix all her problems, there's the notion that therapy/her therapist can fix all her problems. This is me I have this idea that if I work hard, take all his advice, be transparent, be vulnerable, and work through all the way to a successful termination then I will finally be happy.

I sent an email to my T explaining the term and how I was feeling about it. I told him I thought we should talk about it next session. It sounds like it's going to be awkward and rather depressing (he's surely going to deflate my fantasy, as he should) but the conversation should be had.

What do you think about it? Is this in fact a therapeutic term? Are you experiencing a Golden Fantasy in your own therapy? Have you ever had a similar conversation with your therapist?