I am estranged from both my children. Long story short.....my ex husband was emotionally, psychologically, and financially abusive. He thought he was a great husband. The kids loved him. They despised me. I wish I had left years before I did. I apologized to both children for "whatever" I did. To this day I cannot figure out how I failed as a parent. My son disowned me right to my face. My daughter just one day stopped speaking to me. My son says he has no use for me. My daughter has told her dad if she sees me she will assault me. So, I feel at least some of your pain. But, I had to put it behind me. I could not bear the pain any more. It still saddens me. I have forgiven them. I have moved on (I think). But, it still pains me. You are not the only one who has been hurt by those who should have been supportive. Myself, I now have big issues with abandonment, rejection, betrayal. It hurts. I know.