Thanks for posting this...

Uhm in the past 4 years I haven't been completely honest with my bf regarding the bpd. I tried to keep it as seperate from him as possible (he had his own plate full of shyt) and so whatever I needed emotionally, i'd request on demand. Sure he obviously knows I'm nuts, he's always known, and he was the first I told about my bp, but with this he knew something different was up but could never put his finger on this type of crazy... I wasn't at all forthcoming and he did the best he could, albeit ignorantly...

Reason for this ramble? I pushed a month ago, HARD. Was even kind of relieved he really left this time.

Then he texts me to ask whyyy. Whyyy I always push him away? Whyyy don't I understand that it hurts?



Then I came across this thread... I emailed him your OP along with some individual specifics titled "why we never work out". Figured he deserved the closure and the honesty.

Now he wants to try AGAIN, slowly.

I thought he would run screaming in terror, not because I'm nuts (like I said he's always known) but more because he's been begging me to not lash out and push him, begging me to learn to control the impulses better, to trust his intentions daily, not intermittently... and here I am admitting that I most likely always will do the opposite of what he needs, and he comes BACK???



OK I'm rambling again now, just wanted to say thanks for providing the words I never had before.