I feel they way you feel a lot. I am gay, in the closet, and I still won't accept myself as such, I rather be dead than say I accept that. I used to self injure and have suicidal thoughts becuase I didn't want to live like that anymore. Now I want to live but is so diffictul. I wish I was straight and loved girls and their bodies and was able to sexually function with them. It's so frustrating to be me. HOWEVER, I have started to not give my situation a single thought. Therapy doesn't help because all they say is 'you have to learn to accept yourself' over and over. I don't think about the problems I was having anymore and I have isolated myself from messing around with guys. That's where all my stress, anxiety, depressions, came from: being overly sexual with guys and being too concerned about being gay. Now, I don't give a f**k about those two things anymore. I'm doing me: I dance, work out, go to shool, to keep my head busy everyday. I haven't had a depression in weeks and haven't spoken to a dude in weeks and I'm doing so great man.

So that's a very short summary of my story, is a bit different from yours, but I would just tell you that what you have to do is to try to do things you love and enjoy everyday and keep your mind busy. Try to ignore all the problems because that's what stresses us out, we think too much. So instead just got out more, maybe join the gym, a club, go run and things like that because they helped me so much. I'm barely home now and keep myself very busy. I'm not that good at giving advice but that's my suggestion to you from my own experience. I hope everything gets better for you, I feel you a 100% and wish you the best. No one has to go through this things when we never chose to be who we are. It sucks.

My best wishes to you.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk