@babyfirefly

Hmmm unfortunately I think your situation is slightly different.. I think it is a perfectly reasonable reaction for someone to feel 'somewhat' threatened when their current partner is still friends with an ex of theirs. This however, doesn't automatically mean that something is going on here - that he/she is definitely cheating or is going to cheat. But yes it can lead to mistrust and frustration, which can then push people apart.

A key factor in any successful relationship is good communication and a willingness to compromise with one another. Whether or not it's fair to ask a partner to end a friendship based on the terms that it makes you feel uncomfortable is debatable, but they should at least be willing to acknowledge your feelings and to try and understand your predicament.

If this is his reaction -"I feel your pain just now, everytime I bring it up he tells,me to deal with my own stuff and he's going to play with her anyway....."

Either, and I don't mean to sound harsh here, but either you have constantly expressed your uneasy feelings about the situation and he, in his state of mind, is objecting to this feeling of being pressurised/control by someone, in this instance you, (men generally dislike the feeling of a loss of 'freedom'), -and if this is the case, there is probably nothing going on here, he enjoys her company as a friend, and just views her as a 'game buddy'. OR, an over the top reaction, and reluctance to corporate could be a sign of guilt.. (I'll give my thoughts on what to do, if this is the case, at the end of this long reply.)

Another point to ad, is that 'kisses' in the country I live in means nothing - although I'm not sure about where you're from.. Additionally, if the girl happens to like him (not saying she does.) He has no control over that, but ofc shouldn't act upon it.

And lastly, I'm sensing what is bothering you the most, is the fact that he's spending a lot of time with this girl, and not so much time with you, which, I think, is the main source of your discomfort. The large majority of us would ofc feel the same..

In my opinion, what worked for me, and it's much easier said than done, but you need to care less/give him his space. And as bad as this sounds, it is very much true, if someone is going to cheat, they're going to cheat. There is nothing you can do about it. I mean, theoretically, you could spy on them, shout at them, tell them to never look at another man/women again but if they want to cheat, rest assured they will find a way to do it. The only thing that stops people cheating, generally speaking, is love and respect for a person. (So if they do cheat anyway, theoretically you're better off without them, as if someone truly cared for you, they wouldn't cheat in the first place..)

I know this sounds all very negative.. hadn't meant for the conversation to end on this note, but my point is, you need to try and not let it get to you. Be strong. Be happy as you are. Men take notice of a women's inner confidence. If a women shows that she can manage just fine without him, a man is more likely to work harder for her affection. He'll see spending time with her as valuable, fun & relaxing, rather than the opposite in where a person reacts negatively.

Final Note: I'll be honest and say, if you give him his space, probably one of either two things will happen. He'll either drift away & in effect you guys will drift apart (no longer continue a relationship). Or, after some time of this distant behaviour, he'll essentially 'come back to you'. Overall though, respect & space is more likely to equal a more positive result than to do the opposite.

Ps. This is just my personal opinion to the matter. But I hope it helps. Good luck