I deal with jealousy too and it used to be much more severe. I know how you feel, it's the worst, but I can tell you that it's gotten much better for me over the years and I know it can for you too.

I suggest that you do some research on jealousy and make sure you understand what it is. Search up "overcoming jealousy", I found a lot of help from doing that.

Know that you can overcome this! It may take a long time and it may be a painful journey but if you put the effort in you will eventually figure out how to deal with it appropriately. Best of luck to you.