((((Talulah))))

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She hasn't done much in the past to help me get past my troubles except refer me to pdoc for meds......but yea I like her very much I just wonder if she's able to help me.

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I'm sorry, Talulah, but all sorts of alarms go off in my head when I read that. What you wrote makes it sound like your T only wants to help people with no symptoms. Sheesh, what are therapists for? Aren't they supposed to try to help people who are feeling depressed or sad or out of sorts?

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"If you can't find self worth than I can't help you".

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Can't believe she said that. Ouch! Sometimes we need to set our own boundaries in therapy and tell the T when what they are doing is not helpful and in fact may be hurtful. When T's have difficulties knowing what to do next in therapy or how to proceed with a challenging client, their typical course of action is supposed to be to consult a mentor therapist, or at least a respected peer colleague. Has your T consulted anyone for advice on how to proceed with you since she admits she is "stuck"?

I wonder if your tears signal you are mourning the absence of a therapist who "gets you" and can help? (sorry for the interpretation...)

I'm glad you've made a list. It helps in achieving clarity. Please let us know how your T receives the list. Maybe it would be better to go over it in person with her rather than e-mailing it. It can be easy to skim e-mails and not really deal with them. In person, she would be forced to engage with the list, and you could see her first reaction to what you have written with your own eyes.

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If she doesn't figure it out after I give her a list then I'm going to stop talk therapy.

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I don't think the trouble is necessarily talk therapy, but perhaps just your T, your dyad, and her approach. Talk therapy might work very well for you with another practitioner.

Ya know, I think the therapy relationship is like any other. At one point in our lives, it may be just the ticket, but we grow and develop new needs and areas to work on, and we may outgrow the relationship or have new needs that need a fresh partner and approach. Talulah, could you have outgrown your T and be ready to move on to someone else?

sunny