Thread: Misdiagnosed
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Old Mar 09, 2007, 01:10 AM
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Juliana Juliana is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 887
Thanks so much for the info and for sharing your experience, Meta.

I don't want to go back to the same psychiatrist. She was so cavalier with me when she gave me the BD diagnosis. Her attitude bothered me. I didn't like the fact that she wanted me to take Seroquel just so she could see if she was right about her diagnosis. I didn't like being treated like a guinea pig. I had gone to her because I was feeling sad and lethargic. I told her that my job was very busy and feeling so lethargic was frustrating me. I wasn't sleepy during the day; I just had no energy. I've read about Seroquel and it seems like it helps a lot of people, but I wasn't willing to risk some of the dangerous side effects to treat a condition I don't believe I have. It's also sedating and the last thing I wanted was to feel MORE lethargic. Being sedated would have affected my job performance. I was a graphic designer and a copy editor at the time. I needed to be on the ball so I could multi-task effectively and not make mistakes.

I did well on Celexa (calmed my anxiety) and Lexapro has been working for me since I started taking it (no more panic attacks and my depression has lifted). Clonazepam also worked well for calming anxiety and lessening the panic attacks when I was getting over agoraphobia. I've had bad reactions to some ADs -- Wellbutrin made me feel very depressed, Paxil made me very physically ill and I ended up in hospital for dehydration, and Effexor made me feel very drowsy but fidgety and I had trouble falling asleep. So, I'm glad I've found something that works for me.

The only time my mental health interfered with my ability to live a full life was when I had agoraphobia. My life ground to a complete halt for 3 years when I was agoraphobic. When I go through periods of depression, it doesn't interfere with my job. I tend to welcome the distraction of work. I get more depressed when I have time on my hands -- like weekends when I don't have anything planned or when I'm lying in bed at night before I fall asleep.

My sleep habits have always been pretty much the same. I'm a night owl. I take a nap for an hour or two after dinner and then I stay up late. It's the quietest time of the day and that's when I feel like I have some time to myself -- and I really need that relaxing time -- to read a book or watch a movie. If I'm trying to come up with a creative idea for a project at work, my ideas usually come to me late at night -- when I'm away from the ringing phones and interruptions. Most of my best design work has been done late at night. That's very common amongst my colleagues too and when I was in art school, the studios were always busiest late at night. I work in that art school now, and I often see students just leaving their studios when I'm arriving at work. It's a place full of night owls. It's when it's dark and the world is quiet that most creative people are able to clear their minds and get some creative work done. I do a lot of writing at my current job and I tend to do my best writing after 10PM. I sometimes have a hard time getting out of bed when the alarm goes off at 7 and I wish I could sleep for 2 more hours (but who doesn't?). I usually have a long sleep-in every Saturday morning.

I think I'll talk to my doctor about this and tell her I'm still concerned about why the psychiatrist gave me the BD diagnosis. It does bother me. I'm a logical person and I like to understand things. I don't understand the logic or reasoning behind that diagnosis. Even when I went back to see the psychiatrist after I decided not to take Seroquel, she gave me no explanation of her diagnosis. My GP told me at the time not to worry about it because the diagnosis seemed wrong to her, but I might ask her to refer me to another psychiatrist. I'm not concerned about it on a regular basis because I'm doing well. I'm not in a fabulous mood (I rarely am unless something WONDERFUL happens), but I've been feeling less depressed and less anxious lately and I'm pleased about that. I would like to understand more about BD and get another psychiatrist's perspective, though.

I took the advice of one of the earlier posters in this thread and I've been keeping a log of my sleep patterns and moods.

Thanks again for responding.
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