I can't seem to pick myself up from this one. It's been a whole week and it feels worse. I feel so negative. I have T tomorrow and I'm just stuck in my negativity, i feel like I'm going to do something really stupid. Truth is i really need help and I'm scared to ask for it. I keep trying to think about all the consequences i will have to face if anybody were to find out - if i did follow through. It's not even worth it. Still, i feel miserable. I wish i could just lay here in bed all day and not face the world. I just want to dissapear. I want these feelings to pass. I hope i can muster up some courage tomorrow and be honest with my T. I just feel so worthless and like everybody hates me. I don't know why. Everybody at work kept asking me what was wrong today. I couldn't even hide it. I feel like everybody knows. I hate feeling like this, like everybody is watching me and waiting. I can't mess up. I need to be 100% and I'm so scared that i won't be able to keep it together much longer. I feel like i might break down at any given moment. It is the worst feeling ever.