Quote:
Originally Posted by PoorPrincess
Mind won't stop, but not racing thoughts.
All rational thoughts from real life.
My sleep has worsened; I used to get to sleep okay, 8pm or so; yet awaken about 4 hours later. Now I am unable to get to sleep, feel wretched.
I get up at dark:30 a.m. I cannot stay in bed or get back to sleep.
I am unable to watch tv, movies, or to read books. Sigh. Grrrrrr.
I cannot cry, even when I want to because it would be good to do so.
I do feel very tightly, tensely wound in tension, anxiety, worry, fear and dread.
I am not out in the world, so there are no behavior issues going on.
So if this is a mixed state, I just don't get what this is, what is depression, what is hypomanic? I don't connect with the bipolar dx.
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Sounds like run of the mill anxiety.
Today I am tired. I did more craft, volunteer work and went to lunch with a friend. Next challenge is dinner. Im so forgetful, my brain is not working well, I had to take ativan last night to help sleep, I think it was just a hard night cos it was my first night truly on my own.
I got a call from the hospital today, Im going to have to appeal the bill as they didnt give me clonazepam to take home but still will be charging me for it, I dont have money to throw away on medication. Last admission I was allowed to take the bottle home. I will need to talk to my doctor about that as he didnt put it on my discharge form but should have.
Interestingly he had me admitted for Mixed Bipolar Affective type 2... With depression, OCD and generalized anxiety as additional diagnosis. I guess Mixed is the best way to describe the PMDD cycles. I didnt even get discharge forms last time when I discharged myself - and I got to take ALL of my medication. Hospital is such a hassle. Its really screwed me up for being back home. But the freedom is nice.
Just a few more hours to get through until I see my boyfriend. Im so exhausted but need to do a new coping skills poster up, do my budget and write lists of what I need to ask of people. I paid my rent today so hopefully I am no longer behind in that. Im doing as well as can be expected really.