Hi Sky BlueBlack, Just because people think something doesn't necessarily mean that they're right to think that at all!! In the same way that people can bully others not because they deserve it but because....well there are lots of reasons completely separate from the person they are bullying.
You say you've been bad, well sometimes people do things that they may regret doing without really realizing the true consequences at times, sometimes without any "ill intent", sometimes because they can't see any other way at the time, sometimes because of the effects of their experiences, sometimes because of extreme feelings...........so maybe what you've done/been can be understood if looked at in a more empathetic way??
And really, everyone is going to have done/do something they've looked back on and thought "Why!!" it is all part of being human.
But if you want to tell us a little more about why you think you've been bad maybe we can work together on putting the pieces back together for you??
Sometimes things can seem a lot worse than they actually are, initially or if you're struggling with them on your own without much support.
And like you said, you have a lot of good and a lot of love in you. Now that really is worth so much!! Too much to overlook, and too much to allow other people to dismiss!!
Now maybe with some support you can start to overcome some of the things that have happened for you and allow the good parts of you the space they truly deserve.
AND, we care, we're here for you, perhaps if you can just give us a bit more information we can help you to help yourself to move through/past things, and move forward.
Alison