Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster
A&A - im mad at your t too. What is her issue?? She needs supervision. Or medication. Unless she meant it in A Tree Grows In Brooklyn sort of way. That is, you dont have many luxuries, so look on therapy as a luxury you DO have, youre allowed to have. Its all your to do whatever you want with. You can throw it away if you want to (as the girl does with her coffee and cream in the book - it makes her feel rich to have that luxury, instead of pinching even THAT penny. She does pinch all the other pennies though). So your t time is your time all devoted to you. That kind of luxury? Like maybe shes saying you dont seem to be able to relax into it and make use of it. Like i felt i wasnt getting my moneys worth unless i went in and left all grumpy. But it makes more sense to smile going in and leaving - isnt our ultimate goal to be more content? Cus when is that going to change - in session or out of session? With t or without t?
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I think she probably was referring to the fact that I don't have any other 'luxuries' so I should make the most of the 50 minutes being totally focused on me (but that feels wrong now) and yes, I should use it to its best advantage. At least I hope that's what she meant! I just feel so hurt and as if she was telling me I was being too demanding for voicing that I find 50 minutes too short and I find it hard to connect again after a break of 7 days. I don't know. I just don't know if I want to see her tomorrow. I haven't texted which I usually do during the week. She never replies. She says it's a 'boundary issue' basically saying I am too much, too demanding.
Thank you, Hankster for your reply. It means a lot.
