Heather, When we quit drinking, it’s like losing an old friend. And when we suffer a loss of that magnitude, we grieve.

The five stages of grief are:

1-Denial-"this can't be happening to me", I’m not really an alcoholic.

2-Anger-"why me?", Other people I know can still drink, why can’t I drink without experiencing all those unfortunate things that keep happening to me?

3-Bargaining- Attempting to make deals with booze, just one or two tonight, I know I can do this. If I don’t drink tonight, It will be OK to drink tomorrow.

4-Depression-overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning loss of choice over alcohol consumption Realizing our lack of control, feeling numb. Perhaps feeling suicidal.

5-Acceptance-there is a difference between resignation and acceptance. You have to accept your alcoholism, not just try to bear it quietly. Finding the good that can come out of that acceptance, finding comfort and healing. Our goals turn toward personal growth.

For us, quitting drinking, is a little like suffering with the death of a loved one. It’s a process from denial to acceptance. You would do well to find an AA meeting. The people in that room get it. They like you understand the desperate relationship we build with alcohol, and more importantly, they have passed through that hard place you find yourself in, that Hole, and they can show you how they did it.

Keep coming back, that is what they told me to do.

Richard