Seriously. Am I not supposed to get mad when I feel it, am I supposed to have no rights to have functions should I instead hurt myself and self harm till I kill myself, because that's what people expect me to do. **** I hate where I'm at, I put the effort they rather break me in two than hiring me at a job, or being my friend, or deserving something I worked for to earn it. I get constantly teased and isolated tormented that I'll finally accomplish something when I get mad people say, "I got all these problems so and so, you should appreciate blah blah blah." and I feel like they should all **** off and leave me alone. They don't know **** I mean my parents don't know either till the last second, and then people say o I'm sorry, then I get left hung to dry till the next ******** thing happens. I never win. I hate doing anything, because no matter how much effort and how I'm determined not to quit, something ****** in life prevents me from doing anything. It's like I have really really bad luck, I'm doing everything I can to get a job again with my neurological issues now in play and trying to make new friends in a new neighborhood. People think I have a ****** attitude so I must be ****** person, I'm like wtf, the people I know that feel this way should speak for themselves I reach out to people so much and do anything to help a friend in need myself anything, but I get nothing back I don't expect it. Maybe that's my problem people don't care I shouldn't either and when I get mad, I get criticized harshly for getting mad, I seriously done trying to do something for myself and having to rely on anyone who doesn't care, because I'm either an inconvenience or they don't know or something stupid as a lame excuse. That's all I get, I never had anything sincere, I put the work for me, I get so far till I'm faced to deal with difficult parents, friends, family, people in general. It's now that I'd rather not do anything, because I'm tired of this, I continue to do it, because I have to. I hate people so much and being forced to live a life restricted by other peoples means and authority. I'd either rather get so far away I have to do things myself in the middle of nowhere which I wouldn't mind or kill myself, because I am done completely fed up for 7 years straight of this crap. I'm called disrespectful for sticking up myself, and if I don't say anything and they push me around they're not accountable and they aren't disrespectful. That's the type of people I'm around 24/7. Give me a break everyone. I'm forced to look at 4 walls everyday and be cooped up, because I'm in too much pain to go outside at times, I try to get out as much as I can, but some days it's too difficult. Such bull **** I tell ya.