I don't give people a lot of information at all in my life, because with my experience, nobody really seems to care about my issues, nor want to truly listen long enough to understand me. I became afraid to open up anymore. I've cried out for help as loudly as I could, yet everyone shut me out and did not help. I am not saying people did not try at times....but every time I did need , desperately needed longer-term care, I was always tossed out on my own before I was ready or without alternative solutions to deal with things before blindly jumping into the next phase of my life. Money was always also a limiting factor as well that set up road blocks. Did anyone jump in to help? Not really.... not for true help that could have made a difference. Nobody cared about me that deeply enough. So, I learned to not talk about myself. What's the point?

I don't view this as me thinking I am better or above anyone else. It became a way to shelter my heart from the ignoring, dismissing people in my life. I really needed to be heard, yet nobody I truly felt safe with heard me. I gave up and have tried to go thru life with a smile and act as normally as I possibly could because people in general cannot tolerate anything less than what they perceive to be normal. It is a lonely existence trying to live up to the terms of other people. It rejects who I truly am, so I have lived a life feeling invisible, forgotten, unloved.