I am new here. In fact, this will be my very first post. I may not have much experience with this forum, but I have tons with the kind of state you find yourself in. Please hear me when I tell you this: right now, no doctor is going to sound like they have the right answer. That's what makes a mixed state so horrible, you're not depressed, yet nothing is right. You're manic, but without the confidence. Go back to the doctor you disliked the least, please. The hardest part about this condition, for me, has been acknowledging when I am well that I should not be making decisions when I am sick. I wish you all the best.