It kind of sounds like there is a bigger money issue than just the money to pay for a lawyer. I mean, even if you get him to take your money to pay for the lawyer, he still won't have enough money for child support/alimony/etc?

I could also seem him being leery of getting himself into a situation where someone might start blaming him for financial problems in the future. After a few years, you might get tired of footing most of the bills.

Good luck -- it does sound like a very awkward situation. From what you've said, I would let him deal with his own finances and divorce issues without getting involved, but I wouldn't want to wait around forever.

This whole 'live with the soon to be ex-wife/husband' is so common nowadays due to the crummy economy, but it's just such an unhappy situation for everyone connected to it (in most cases).