Hankster yes I am very casual with my friends and in general about bdsm. I have discussed aspects of it in my sessions before - including some that were making me searingly unhappy. Some abusive stuff. Most of the talking about sex I do, I have been slightly dissociated, academic and clinical, because I am going through some upheaval regarding my points of view.

I don't really see what throwaway sexual remarks have to do with this, or remarks about intimate personal grooming? And when not actively discussing sex, I am mindful of her boundaries and don't adk personal questions, and then am surprised when she volunteers those bits of information.