Thank you Alison

I got caught up with someone who didn't treat me all that well. Because of this I was bad to him in some of the worst ways I could think of. I also behaved badly towards my friends, about my friends. I was abusive and cruel and behaved in extreme ways. He was cruel to me and messed with my head but that is no excuse for the way I have been.

I did try and stop and leave that life behind as it was not the person I wanted to be. Trouble was that the person I had been bad to had taken everything I had said and relaid it back to the world, along with personal information about me.

Now people use this information to mess with my head. They encourage me to engage in certain conversations and then add to this information. I can never get free and never recover. The whole thing ate me up and I have never and will never get past it in my mind.

I was a bad person, I cannot deny that. I am very sorry for all that happened and it has driven me to be very ill in my mind. My life has become a game that is played by people for fun and I cannot escape it. I do have a lot of love in me and despite what this person has done I still have affection for him and love for everyone who has been in my life.

It is nice that you say that you care. But you would probably hate me too. everyone does. I suppose I deserve it and do think that the only peace I can now get is by dying

Thank you for reading xxxxx