Like i would flirt up one side and down the other with my t, but if he made a crack, i would get all freaked out and think hes coming on to me. You say its not really pleasant for you even when you initiate it, that you dissociate etc. I was pretty compulsive about it myself. I grew up with my mom not around much and listening to my dad tell stories that were not appropriate for a little girl's ears. Kind of a non touching CSA. So i just told my t when he freaked me out. I would say, see a part of me thinks youre really flirting with me - its okay if i do it, but not if you do it! If your t doesnt understand that, then yeah youve got a problem.