Talulah - this place really sucks - huh? I keep hearing it will get better. I am sorry you feel the same way I do. Thank you for posting it helps to know I am not alone.

Pinksoil - Thank you so much. You are so brave - I could never say that to T. I am afraid he tell me it's time to go.

Winter Rose - you are so right I am in the tunnel. It just seems that I don't seem to be moving forward in the tunnel - its like I keep taking the wrong turn and keep getting further and further lost.

Sunrise - Thanks. I might try journaling. I do once in awhile but I get so overwhelmed with life I can't keep it straight. Also my journaling is more like a recount of what the day or week was like. I think it supposed to be about feelings or something like that but I don't know what I feel. Actually I am quite impressed that I have finally figured out that I am frustrated - its only taken me about 3 months. It's pathetic that I don't even know how to journal or can't identify feelings.

I appreciate all you guys taking the time to respond. Sorry to be such a downer, but I really do appreciate the kindness. It really helped me and I am feeling a little better today. I didn't email T. So for that I am glad. I haven't decided what to tell him on Monday when I go in there, but I have a few days to think about it.