I am still struggling with getting some of my training down right at one of my jobs. And it seems like my assistant manager even though we both get along really well. And he really wants to help me.

He can be highly critical of me and hard on me with his words at times. For someone whom has always viewed any form of criticism in a bad negative way. and who has really bad self esteem its hard to deal with on a daily basis. It nearly makes me scared to a degree to go in and on mondays, tuesdays and wednesdays they usually have me scheduled. I guess just sometimes I get that feeling of "can I do enough ever to impress this person. It feels like the mintute I feel like i am doing the best I can...he will come at me saying your doing that good but this needs to be better. And you should know that by now if you don't stop that I am going to write you up" or "that could have got your teriminated" He is not at all trying to be harsh I know he is trying to show me that having a job and keeping it is hard work and its competitive but dealing with his up and downs and mine are challenging...not to mention I do have depression and anxiety issues so this can be VERY difficult on me not to take such things to heart.

and normally in the past I was weaker willed then I was before....but now I dealing with these things in my life SOO much better then I have before. And I feel like the thing thats helping me the most is honestly my spirtuallity and faith lol which is odd mix cause I am mix of Pagan/Christian/Cathlic/ Budhist/Hindu/Shinto lol and probably other things. but they are all personally spiritually holding to me and it helping me deal with my days at work where I feel emotionally I could crack a lot better.

And I am soo grateful for the fact I feel I can handle things in my life so much better due to all of this.