Thanks for your responses. I am having another appt. with my T this afternoon because he knows that I am struggling severely and is really worried about me. Part of me just wants to shut down and close him off to my world partly out of anger but the other part wants to just break down and cry because I am definitely afraid that I am falling and slipping backwards fast, really fast. I don't know I feel so confused, upset, distracted (sat at my desk here today and have not done a thing....nothing and again won't make it through another full day here), sad, on the verge of tears and just wanting to give up. It is so hard.

Anyway, thanks again for your replies, they mean a lot.