Quote:
Originally Posted by Mastodon
Yes, that first sentence... it took me ages to get to where I can actually get it out - and even now, even as recently as yesterday, I had to pause after three words and tell T that I needed a minute to get my breathing in order. But it has been possible to get to where I can get it out, and I am positive that it is possible for you, too. I have sometimes written down what I want to say (as a letter rather than bullet points) and brought it with me to tell T. But then there is the issue of overthinking and editing and changing the words, which I imagine you might also have.
I am glad you got more sessions per week, and that she is flexible about coming more often. May I ask whether you know that she was irritated with you, or whether it was your interpretation? (I agree that the words you quoted seemed a bit annoyed, but I can imagine that they could be said in a concerned rather than irritated way.)
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Thanks for the positive thinking! It is much needed right now. I hope it is possible to get things out - sooner than later!
I tried the letter thing but could never get myself to bring them in. She wanted me to read them to her and I was NOT all for that. So I'm thinking the bullet points may be effective for me because it leaves it as a topic or an idea...so instead of going into detail, I could dive into detail with my Therapist and it will feel safer. The lady makes sense.
It may have been my interpretation that she was annoyed; but it wasn't too far-fetched. It was in her facial expression and tone. I don't know for sure but if it keeps weighing on me, I'll bring it up next session. I don't mind if she was a little irritated that I am complaining about the way sessions have been going, yet not doing my part...What bothers me is if she is implying I'm not trying hard enough. I know it is easy for people who aren't depressed to slip into that mentality sometimes. Thanks for bringing that to my attention.