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Originally Posted by Amelia112
You are right, I was a little judgmental - and I didn't even mean to be. I think just as my words can sometimes be perceived in different ways, I guess I took your statement: "I wish people would realize that..." as something that suggested the common view on post-therapy friendships is wrong. But then again, I can definitely see how I have reacted to this statement and took it in a different way than you may have meant it.
You are right - I never conducted any studies on this, but I have talked to people about this who have.
So it seems there are different views on this. Whereas your view is that post-therapy friendship is fine and 'no big deal', there are others - mostly professionals - who have the complete opposite view.
I am friends with people who go to therapy and I have a friend who is a therapist (never been in therapy with her). And I can see the points of both camps here. The therapist friend is convinced (as is my own therapist) that post-therapy friendships are very complicated and hardly every work. Neither of them have real friendships with ex-clients and are not open to that (any more)
Some people I know however, who are clients, would love to be friends with their therapists and I can see how they are struggling to define what it really is they want.
My very personal view would agree with the notion that post-therapy friendships are complicated and more times than not "a big deal".
In the book "Handbook of Professional Ethics for Psychologists"
it says: "Although not specifically prohibited, psychologists are urged to avoid posttherapy relationships that could create a risk for harm - a possibility not easily or accurately predictable."
It goes on that posttherapy relationships are possible, but that it is not without risks.
So I know this topic has been researched and talked about a lot and if I believe my therapist, the majority of therapists are not open to posttherapy relationships for many good reasons.
But that is not to say that I wasn't wrong in the way I worded my response to you. I can see that. And I am sorry!
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I appreciate your apology.
When I said no "no big deal" I meant that it was just a normal get together, no angst or drama before, during or after. For me, it was the same as getting together with any other of my friends. We are both clear that she can never be my therapist again.
The empirical research is not out there for Post Therapy Relationships. Most of what we hear is antidotal. There is very little research if any that passes the research test criteria. Hopefully your friends will publish their research. The psychology handbook is over a decade old. The boards change their rules sometime in the last decade. I am willing to bet good money that the governing boards discussed preliminary research out there and concluded that it is not an ethics issue. I suspect , because it is such a taboo topic that we won't hear too many of the success stories.
Gotta run...