Quote:
Originally Posted by 1914sierra
Part of the "no big deal" feel for some of us is that, at least in my case, the friendship really did develop as no big deal. It wasn't something we sat down and had a big talk about. It wasn't something I asked for and he granted to me. It just naturally happened without any particular planning or thought really put into it -- kind of like most natural friendships develop. It kinds of seems to me that if you have to plan and ask permission and fret about it, perhaps it is just not meant to happen.
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I absolutely understand this, and like I agreed earlier - if it works, it works, and that is a thing to be celebrated.
However, I think when statements like "no big deal" are casually put out there, it might be slightly misleading, and encourage people to think if they can appear like it's no big deal (sort of, look at me! I can be normal! pick me!) then they might get the result they want, ie friendship. But if it
is in fact a big deal, that will cause problems down the line. So I think that is why it should always be examined and discussed, even if both parties appear to be nonchalant. I'm not sure I'm making any sense, and I am absolutely not trying to take away from the wonderful post therapy friendships you or others have.