Wow ... Bryan, I can completely relate to what you wrote above. Life just doesn't seem fair right? Like no matter how hard you look, or where you look, you can't find what you are searching for. And this reality that your living in just doesn't seen like its happening because everything is such a blurr, and you're so lost that you don't know where to turn.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you too ... Do you have anyone that you talk talk to about how your feeling? A T or a close friend/relative? Talking can really help .. it may seem really hard to do at the time, but if you continuously try, it will make you feel a little more grounded. If you don't have anyone .. do you do any journaling? That can be just as affective to put how your feeling down in words, and just knowing that they are "out" of your system, even for a little while.

Try and remember what it was that made you happy before .. do you have any sort of hobbies or sports that you are interested in? Art or Music? Its just important to realize that not all is lost. You have once felt happy, and while it may seem like you won't feel that way again, you will get back to that place. You can do this.

((((((((hugs)))))))))
Jacqueline