My official diagnosis is complex ptsd, although I would describe it more as having lived my entire life with chronic anxiety. There isn't much I didn't experience in the first 16 years of my life. However, I managed to "shut the door " on all of that (or so I thought). Two years ago, everything just came crashing down around me and since then I have been struggling along, with therapy, medications etc etc. Through it all though, I have managed to maintain a fairly "normal" image to the rest of the world. I am very good at hiding all my feelings,as I have all my life. I'm 42, have a wonderful husband and 2 teenage chlldren. I am so lucky to have the life I have now, but I seem so caught up in all this past stuff, it seems to dominate most of my time. Do you ever get to the point where you can just "put the lid " back on and leave it all where it belongs. I so hope so....I'm running out of patience. It feels very strange posting all this. !!