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Lamplighter · Apr 02, 2014, 01:18 PM

This is an ongoing issue I have with therapists, and no different with this latest one whom I’ve been seeing for nearly a year now.

I wondered if anyone else here has (or had, it might have changed over time) a similar experience, whereby you feel increasing anger and irritation at your T because you feel T just doesn’t get you, isn’t listening properly, keeps missing important things you tell them, and generally isn’t doing/giving the things that you expect a T to provide (or need, or want...)

I am now in a state of permanent hostility and T is starting to piss me off big time, he seems to say really stupid and insensitive things, opposes me when I’m looking for validation and support and understanding, and while he listens to me complain and criticize him, changes nothing and carries on in his own usual dismissive and un-understanding way. I could go on and on about all the things that I perceive T doing wrong, but the general point I’m trying to make is that I’m so so angry at him, nearly all the time.

Now I’m aware that some of this is transference, some of this is anger directed at him that is also directed at the rest of the world and the people in my past for not giving me the things I need and want, some of it is possibly overreaction on my part due to how I feel and stuff like shame and fear (though I don’t accept that any of my feelings are an overreaction just that they might not be how other ‘normal’ people might respond in similar situations.)

What I’d really like to know is if there is anyone out there who has spent a lot of their therapy time feeling really angry at T, why and how, and what you did to resolve it (if you did) and if your therapy moved eventually to become positive and helpful (and if it did, what changed?)

Thanks

LL