I am the adult child of an alcoholic, my mother was a train wreck, but I loved her so much and wanted her approval so badly. It was always conditional though. I was an only child and I felt that she only loved me when I reflected well on her and she could be proud of me. When I made mistakes I felt like a disappointment and felt totally abandoned emotionally. My mother passed away in January and I grieve more for the mother I wanted than the person that actually died. She stuck it to me in the end as well dying with no life insurance or indication of what she wanted done.