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Originally Posted by Clementine K
When in doubt, sleep on it. Email tomorrow if you still feel strongly. By the next day, for me, I normally don't want to email anymore.
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Thank you. You're right! I don't feel that same urge today.
Quote:
Originally Posted by growlycat
Rainbow, sometimes when I know that I have too many issues to bring up at my next session, I will sit down and list out each topic in order of emotional priority. Right before my session, I may re-rank that list but I will go with the most burning issues first.
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Thank you. I sometimes do that, but often, in the beginning of the session, my T asks me to close my eyes and go inside, and decide what feels like a good place to start. Sometimes I change my mind then; sometimes not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by artemis-within
To help me stop emailing T I created an email account for myself called "innertherapist" so when I get the urge to email her, most of the time I'm able to be happy writing it to her but sending it to myself. I've been using this one less and less too over the last few months. Progress!  also, having those emails on that email account, gives me an idea of what i want to work on when we do talk. |
That's a good idea. I've sent emails to me and not her, a couple of times. Maybe this is for another thread, but why is NOT emailing a T considered progress? For you and me, or others, that may be the case, but I'm not so sure. Oh, probably because that usually means the T has to reply, or not reply. But I don't get replies, so if I want her to know how I feel, or what I did during the week, what's the big deal, as long as I don't write a novel?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leah123
I know what you mean about a physical urge, but when I read that, I thought to myself.... we are all used to controlling physical urges. We don't always eat at the moment we feel hungry, and sometimes we may eat when we're not hungry to stay healthy or whatever. We don't have sex whenever the impulse strikes, we don't heed the call of nature in public but wait until we find a restroom, we don't scratch every itch, etc.
We follow rules for all our physical urges, basically... so you could look at it like that. A physical urge is just information and we get to decide what to do about it.
Same with your therapist's preference to talk about what's going on in the moment.... you can defer to her and let go of a topic you care enough about to have posted this, or you can hold onto this post and tell her about it if it's important. I appreciate very much her focus on the immediate, the here and now, but.... I don't believe any one approach is perfect 100% of the time.
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Thank you. What you posted about rules for our physical urges is very helpful for me! My T is flexible. I don't want you or anyone to get the wrong idea. If I want to talk about a problem and have want I call a "conversation" with my T for the whole session, it's perfectly fine with her.
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Originally Posted by Goingtogetthere
IMHO, I think you should let her know you want to start emailing, and let her know you do not expect a response, unless you specifically ask — don't box yourself in by saying never respond. See what her thoughts are and act accordingly. Talk about it.
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Thank you. Not responding to my emails is my T's boundary, not mine! I agree with it, though. I had a lot of trouble accepting her brief answers to my emails, and often felt worse than not having received an answer at all. We tried different options, and this works for both of us. If it was urgent and I needed a response and told her, I know she would respond. She makes exceptions, like when my daughter was in the hospital. But my questions and/or reactions to the sessions, and my progress or lack of progress during the 2 weeks isn't usually urgent.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Luce
Rainbow, I think there is far more in the connection between the reinstigation of touch and the feelings you are now having than you are willing to allow yourself to believe.
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I am thinking about this, and I know Chris posted something similar. I know that the session stirred up a lot of feelings, and they are confusing! What I am almost 100% sure of, is that holding her hand did not stir anything up. It's the way she behaved during the session. I need to do SE about the SE!
I am willing to believe that my feelings have to do more with T sitting so close to me than the actual touching. Holding her hand never feels anything but therapeutic. I wish she could "throw out the rest" and just let me hold her hand while we talk!
She asked first before touching my arms. She learned in her workshop that it could be therapeutic. She also told me the touching is being used for a specific reason. Changes bother me. This is a change.
I know there's more, but I can't sort it out yet. It may be partly about reinforcing that she's the professional and I'm the client, and I don't like that!
I'll have to see what feelings come up for me and make sense of them.
I was in charge when I wanted her to hold my hand; now SHE'S in charge!!!! That triggers me!!!