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purplemoon said:
Thanks Talulah. I have been going for about a year. My T says I am making a lot of progress, and I have friends that say I have made a lot of progress too. But I am just so overwhelmed and my life is such a mess, everyday it seems to get messier. I guess it is the fallout from the changes that I am making - I will say I have made a huge amount of change in my life and others have not taken it very well. So I guess alot of it is backlash and resistance but it just makes this road so much harder. Sometimes I sit and wonder how did I end up here????? My T has been tremendously helpful. He was the one that had me make the changes and as terrified as I was in the beginning and as awful as it has been - it is the best thing I could have ever done for myself. I had a family member call last night and she said that she was truly amazed because she didn't think the I would or could do this. I am a little angry with this family member and I would really like to thumb my nose at her, but I am really glad that I proved her wrong - I didn't do this to prove her wrong I did this because I truly want a different life but I don't want what is currently going on, but T assures me that this won't be forever - it is because I have upset the system. This is probably way more than you wanted to know. Sorry it is so long.
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It's great that you're seeking feedback from others.....this will help give you a perspective you may not see yourself. Change is difficult and takes a long time to adjust to. I didn't feel much change until a year and a half later with my t, so good for you!
Life and all of our responsibilities are overwhelming, especially when one priority is trying to improve ourselves. Remember, you are trying the best you can to make your life a healthier one, it always seems to fall to pieces before it actually gets better.....it may even stay in pieces for a long time. This may be so we can see the importance of each individual element and how they must all work together in harmony to make us a whole and happy being. Dunno, but that is often my interpretation. The pieces all stay on the floor until they are each examined and repaired, then slowly they are mended enough to join back together, but since they are still so fragile, their adhesive is a little sensitive so once in a while a piece falls back out and has to be glued back in.....every piece is essential and they cannot function without one another. I think your pieces may just be on the floor.....right where they need to be for you to see them.
Hang in there, your t will help you with the puzzle.....and you never have to apologize for sharing yourself with me......