I'm sorry. Is it possible to talk to your friends and let them know why you were acting strangely? You might discontinue friendships in a different way than I do, I apologize if you can't relate to this, but when I'm depressed I just abandon all of my friendships, stop talking to people, stop doing anything to maintain the friendships. And my friends move on, and I start to feel like they hate me because I'm sitting here suffering and no one is even checking to see if I'm ok. And that makes it almost impossible to reach out.

But last week I wound up in the hospital with a medical issue and I called my friend (our last interaction just before I stopped talking to people was pretty much an argument) and she was right there.

If your friends are close and have seen you through this, maybe they understand more than you think? In the meantime, there are lots of people here for you.