I started adopting a little boy in Africa and have made him a card and sent pictures to him. I also donate to a food bank in the area I am originally from. I wouldn't say that it made me feel all that much better though.

I wish people in real life where as forgiving and kind as you are here. They are of the opinion that I have no excuse for the way I was and dislike me and because they have read all of my personal business, they find it entertaining to make comments and run tests. I am very insecure and follow people's lead quite a lot so I find it hard to stand up for what I believe in. I can also get very negative about things and have very destructive behavioural patterns so this affects how I can be as a person. All of these things have bearing on this and I am judge as horrible for.

I don't take drugs any more and I am starting psychological therapy soon. I just don't see how it a can change the reality of it all

I have broken contact with everyone I used to know and have lost all friends. The people that I worked with also knew about this so when I start a new job, this information will be passed on and it will all start up again.

I am so very ill with all of this and it has affected me mentally in other ways. Ultimately I don't see a way out and the thought of it all sends me over the edge. I think about suicide a lot

Thank you for all of your kind responses, I really do appreciate the time you have ALL spent talking to me xxxx