Hi Fuzzy, since when should the focus of our concerns/thoughts be on making people like that happy??!! Our concerns are about YOU Fuzzy!!!
And you're right, the memories of what they said/did might not go away. But the meaning you attach to them can change. You can maybe see the abusers more for what they actually were as opposed to allowing them to define you (in your mind).
You are stronger, you are more powerful than they would ever be by moving on from what you had to experience, and still keeping that caring, compassionate warmth in relation to others. You are still there!! They don't have to keep that control over you, you've shown that by showing us who you really are deep down.
And the strength you've shown is 10000000% more valuable than any strength they may have had/inflicted. The strength you've shown reflects real integrity, sincerity, genuineness. You are so much better than them, whatever they did. And you are still you, doesn't matter what any of them said/did, there's no denying it!!
I know it must really hurt sometimes, but what happened to you was their failing, why take ownership of that, it says nothing about you at all!! They don't deserve to pass off anything on to you!!
Alison