That is hard to accept. It does sound like your son has put a big old wall between you two, and he seems to plan on keeping it that way. You did a lot that was right. Sometimes, you just have to let go. He got a good education, and that's a credit to his rearing that he had that capacity. Give yourself credit for having done some things right.

Maybe, once in a while send him a card with a few pictures of you in your current life enclosed. No big letter, just a short note. I wouldn't do it too often.

This is a heartache for you to bear. I'm sorry. It's a chance a woman takes when becoming a mother. Very hard.