My big problem is that recognizing my progress will usually lead me to destroy the progress in some way. Its scary to hold on to. Today we talked about how i never want to clean my house because i had this fantasy that then my mother would want to come see it. But that was a dumb fantasy because in 40 years my mother has never acknowledged any home of mine. Somehow its never been important. Im not sure if its her deal or mine, ie who started it. But i think its time for me to set down some roots!