Hi my name is Emma. I as diagnosed with bipolar disorder 1about a year ago. Since then I've been good at taking my medication. However I'm still cycling every so often. In January I started forging checks from my mother in law. That of which I am lost on how it even started. About a month ago I was confronted with my actions. I fell into the depression I'm in now. As a result my mother in law wants nothing to do with me and I don't blame her. My husband or the other hand is stuck in the middle of this. I've always been more manic for a month or so and hita depr within a month when I am confronted with my actions. I am pushing my husband away and I know in my heart that he is the one I need. He wants to stand by me knowing that I am the wife he loves somewhere in my head. He has been talking to other women and meeting them I have told him to stop and he tells me it's his way of coping with my diease. I suffer from paranoia as I have put trackers on his cell phone to track his text messages. I tell myself that he is cheating on me and I need to do this for my own protection. I know that he is at the end of his rope and that if I can't control this manic behavior that he will leave me. I'm looking for advice on how to get this right. I know that I will not be able to control this without him and he is making me stronger. He loves me so much that I'm hurting him. I don't want to lose my husband because of this disease. Please help.