I had this conversation a lot with my therapist. I want her to challenge me! I don't want her to tiptoe around me or a subject and I want her to ask straight questions and give straight forward feedback. When I started therapy I made it very clear that I was there to work, not for paid compassion.
For the most part it works. But I do feel now that with my health getting worse, that she gets softer, no matter how much I tell her that that is not what I need all the time. She would say things like "You can talk about this but it's up to you, I don't don't to add to all you're dealing with already." Then, I take this as my cue and start talking and she will constantly check in with me if I am ok or whether I need a break. And she looks at me with her puppy eyes full of fondness, sadness and compassion - and it unnerves me and makes me stop talking. And, interestingly, it changes my feelings from being determined to be strong and resilient into feeling sadness and fear of what is to come.

I know she likes me, I know she cares A LOT, I know she wants to help me. And I can understand if some of you think: "Aww, that T sounds so soft and warm and loving, what's wrong with that?" And it's true, she IS soft and warm and I really do like her a lot!

But it's a little frustrating when I feel that even she is treating me like I can't take the truth any more or that I need to be pampered and nurtured and protected all the time. I know my reality, I know my prognosis - I don't need to be reminded of it every time I see my T.
And then, it seems like therapy is turning into a time of mushy, cozy and warm feelings and while I of course am not immune to this part of therapy, I miss the real work. And today, after yesterday's session I feel frustrated and mad at myself for not pushing harder for what I really wanted to talk about.

So what can I do? I told her many times but it seems she always has my prognosis in her mind when she talks to me. And I can see that it is hard for her to put that aside. I will definitely not change therapists now that would make no sense at this point. How can I get her to not treat me like I need to be wrapped in pink cotton wool and have my hand held all the time?