OK, so current relationship issues aside then, I see trust as a choice, not a feeling. Once I make the choice to trust, I just do. I don't stop trusting until I am presented with a reason not to. If i catch you in a lie or a deception by omission, then that is a reason to consider the strength of my trust. But if you are always upfront and honest with me I will continue to trust you. I think it builds up or breaks down over time. I cannot tell you how I do this, I just make the choice and stick with it. I think your journey to learn more about yourself and explore your feelings is a great start! Good luck!!