I think possibly you are defending against feeling grief for yourself at what is to come, and all the waves of sadness and fear that are possible with that. You are amazingly strong and upbeat, Amelia - a life force. But that doesn't mean that you are immune to painful emotions. You are human, you are facing in real-time what I call the paradox of consciousness. Sadness, and yes, fear, are going to be part of the package for us all in that situation, unless something like dementia is unfolding which keeps us oblivious. I have held the hands of two key figures in my family when they went through this; one who had razor-sharp cognitive skills right up until the end. He was an older man, with a very firm faith, he would have said he was ready to die for many years. He still experienced fear at the end, and that was totally okay and we were glad to be able to give him comfort. In ways, that fear allows you to accept the humanity and kindness of others in a way that denying it does not.

I think your therapist is softly trying to make you aware that she is willing to metaphorically 'hold your hand' through all this. That is an amazing gift, and a great honour to both you and her.

I hope my words are not out of turn (this is an area I feel strongly about, so I may have a few blind spots) please tell me if so and I will delete this post.